Outsourcing to English Majors

I was filling out my "performance evaluation discussion questionnaire" today for my annual review with my employer when the thought hit me, "Why am I lowering myself to such as disgraceful position as to be filling out paperwork? Can't I outsource this? Isn't that the American way?" Think of all the thousands, per millions, of English majors with no relevant job skills that colleges turn out every year. Couldn't I pay one of them a penny per word to write my performance evaluation for me? If we can trust foreign workers to develop our most critical software components, why shouldn't we trust those who know nothing about us to write our performance evaluations and other meaningless documents?